Thoughts...
FOR A BETTER AND JOYFUL LIFE....
Always try to help a friend in need
Believe in yourself
Be brave...but it's ok to be afraid sometimes
Study hard
Give lots of kisses
Laugh often
Don't be overly concerned with your weight, it's just a number
Always try to see the glass half full
Meet new people, even if they look different to you
Remain calm, even when it seems hopeless
Take lots of naps..
Be weird whenever you have the chance
Love your friends, no matter who they are
Don't waste food
RELAX
Take an occasional risk
Try to have a little fun each day.
...it's important
Work together as a team
Share a joke with friends
Fall in love with someone..
...and say "I love you" often
Express yourself creatively
Be conscious of your appearance
Always be up for surprises
Love someone with all of your heart
Share with friends
Watch your step
It will get better
There is always someone who loves you more than you know
Exercise to keep fit
Live up to your name
Seize the Moment
Hold on to good friends; they are few and far between
Indulge in the things you truly love
Cherish every Sunday
At the end of the day... PRAY
....... and close your eyes
And smile at least once a day!
This photograph (below) shows a red Doberman kissing an exhausted fireman.
He had just saved her from a fire in her house, rescuing her by carrying her out of the house into her front yard, while he continued to fight the fire. She is pregnant. The firefighter was afraid of her at first, because he had never been around a Doberman before.
When he finally got done putting the fire out, he sat down to catch his breath and rest. A photographer from the Charlotte, North Carolina newspaper, "The Observer," noticed this red Doberman in the distance looking at the fireman. He saw her walking straight toward the fireman and wondered what she was going to do. As he raised his camera, she came up to the tired man who had saved her life and the lives of her babies, and kissed him, when the photographer snapped this photograph.
God's Wings
A little something to put things into perspective...
An article in National Geographic several years ago provided an interesting picture of God's wings. After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage. One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree.
Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick. When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings. The
loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise. She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies. Then the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her small body, the mother had remained steadfast.
Because she had been willing to die, so those under the cover of her wings would live.
"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge." (Psalm 91:4) Being loved this much should make a difference in your life. Remember the One who loves you, and then be different because of it.
iceburg - amazing how much
is under water...
I Wish You Enough
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.
Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah (on her show) for Dr. Angelou's 74th birthday.
Dr. Angelou said: "I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.
I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life.'
I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.
I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. "
The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labour and his leisure, his mind and his body, his education and his recreation, his love and his religion.
He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence in whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he is always doing both.
-Zen Philosophy-
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take;
but by the moments that take our breath away!
There are moments in life when you miss someone
so much that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real!
When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the
closed door that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.
Please consider sending this message to those people
who mean something to you;
to those who have touched your life in one way or another;
to those who make you smile when you really need it;
to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down;
to those whose friendship you appreciate;
to those who are so meaningful in your life.
Don't count the years-count the memories...........
George Carlin's Views On Aging ..
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?
If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?"
"I'm four and a half!"
You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number ... or even a few ahead. "How old are you?"
"I'm gonna be 16!"
You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!
And then the greatest day of your life ... you become 21.
Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh ..what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now. You're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong?
What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes .. it's all slipping away.
Before you know it, you REACH 50 ... and your dreams are gone. But wait!!!
You MAKE IT to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE IT to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn't end there Into the 90s, you start going backwards ... "I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!! .. ..
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them!"
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's. ..
4. Enjoy the simple things. ..
5. Laugh often ... long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. ..
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive. ..
7. Surround yourself with what you love .. whether it's ... family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge. ..
8. Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. ..
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall .. even to the next county ... to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them .. at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
About Christians
The next time someone says............"I thought you were supposed to be a Christian," keep this in mind!
When I say "I am a Christian"... I'm not shouting "I'm clean living!"
I'm whispering, "I was lost; now I'm found and forgiven."
When I say "I am a Christian".. I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble, and need CHRIST to be my guide.
When I say "I am a Christian"... I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak, and need HIS strength to carry on.
When I say "I am a Christian"... I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed, and need God to clean my mess.
When I say "I am a Christian"... I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are far too visible; but God believes I am worth it.
When I say "I am a Christian".. I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches, and so I call upon His name.
When I say "I am a Christian"... I'm not holier than thou.
I'm just a simple sinner, who received God's good Grace, somehow.
Share this with somebody who already has this understanding, as reinforcement...To others, so they can understand.
Enjoy the following quotes from Will Rogers:
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman, neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men: The ones who learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence.
9. Good judgment comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.
12. AND FINALLY: After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
(Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage the United States has ever known.)
~An Ode to America~
Why are Americans so united? They would not resemble one another even if you painted them all one color! They speak all the languages of the world and form an astonishing mixture of civilizations and religious beliefs.
Still, the American tragedy turned three hundred million people into a single hand put over the heart Nobody rushed to accuse the White House, the army, and the secret services that they are only a bunch of losers. Nobody rushed to empty their bank accounts. Nobody rushed out onto the streets nearby to gape about.
The Americans volunteered to donate blood and to give a helping hand. After the first moments of panic, they raised their flag over the smoking ruins, putting on T-shirts, caps and ties in the colors of the national flag. They placed flags on buildings and cars as if in every place and on every car a government official or the president was passing.
On every occasion, they started singing their traditional song: "God Bless America!" I watched the live broadcasts and rerun after rerun for hours listening to the story of the guy who went down one hundred floors with a woman in a wheelchair without knowing who she was, or of the Californian hockey player, who gave his life fighting with the terrorists and prevented the plane he was on from hitting a target that could have killed other hundreds or thousands of people.
How on earth were they able to respond united as one human being? Imperceptibly, with every word and musical note, the memory of some turned into a modern myth of tragic heroes. And with every phone call, millions and millions of dollars were put in a collection aimed at rewarding not a man or a family, but a spirit, which no money can buy.
What on earth can unite the Americans in such a way? Their land? Their galloping history? Their mighty economic Power? Money?
I tried for hours to find an answer, humming songs and murmuring phrases with the risk of sounding commonplace. I thought things over, but I reached only one conclusion...
There is only one thing that can inspire such dedication, such unbridled love for country and one's fellow human being.. Only one thing that can so exhibit the human spirit. That 'thing' is FREEDOM ! Only freedom can work such miracles. What a joy it must be to have and enjoy such freedoms.
The article was written by Mr. Cornel Nistorescu and published under the title "C"ntarea Americii meaning "Ode To America") on September 24, 2002 in the Romanian newspaper Evenimentulzilei ("The Daily Event" or "News of the Day").
Potato Chips
A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with a bag of potato chips and a six-pack of root beer and started his journey.
When he had gone about three blocks,he met an old woman. She was sitting in the park, just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase. He
was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her some chips. She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him. Her smile was so pretty that the boy wan ted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer. Again,she smiled at him. The boy was delighted!
They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word. As twilight approached, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave; but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old woman, and gave her a hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever.
When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy?" He replied, "I had lunch with God." But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? She's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"
Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home. Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face and he asked, "Mother, what did you do today that made you so happy?" She replied, "I ate corn chips in the park with God." However, before her son responded, she added, "You know, he's much younger than I expected."
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. People, as well as dogs, come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Embrace all equally!
Have lunch with God.......bring chips.
The following is a link for our heroes, may we never forget......
http://members.cox.net/classicweb/Heroes/heroes.htm
Thank you Jerry Cloud for sharing....
THE FATE OF SANDCASTLES:
You have watched it, too. I know I'm not the first or only person who has seen it. But there is a lesson in it that we both may have overlooked.
There are some children on a beach. They're playing and; giggling -- building sand castles all the while. They seem so intent on the project.
You get amused at how meticulous and careful they are with crumbly corners and towers. The looks on their faces as they screw their mouths around and stick out their tongues make you smile. Their resolute concentration on the task is priceless.
Then a big wave begins building and starts toward shore. But the kids don't panic. Instead, they do the strangest thing. They jump to their feet, scream with delight, and watch the torrent of water wash away their creations. There is no panic. No sadness, no bitterness, even children know the inevitable end of sandcastles. They are neither surprised nor angry about what has happened.
You and I should be so wise. The stuff of this world is about as lasting and durable as children's sand castles on the beach. Yet we grownups can get so caught up in it, defensive of it, and depressed over the loss of it.
God didn't create you to be famous, get rich, live in the biggest house,or drive the fanciest car. He created you for his glory. He put you in the world to love people and do holy things. Your destiny is not bound up in physical things, but spiritual. So living to be a hundred is far less important than living well -- even if for a short time. Beautifying your body is far less urgent than purifying your soul.
Children know that their sandcastles are brief joys destined to
disappear with an incoming tide. So they don't fret as the waves
approach.
They watch their creations get swept away without shedding tears. Again, we should be so wise.
Everything about this life is fleeting and perishable. The incoming wave of human mortality is going to sweep it all away. Like sandcastles, nothing done for the sake of this world can last. Only what we do for eternity will survive.
What would the loss of your job or business do to you? What if, your house was lost to a fire or storm? What if, a strange pain sent you to your physician and led to the discovery that you have only a few weeks to live?
These things really do happen to people, you know. We are all as
vulnerable as sandcastles.
Life is God's gift. Revel in every good thing. But as you enjoy your creations in the sand, just remember not to get overly attached to them.
(This is something that I am still working on...I get too attatched to our dogs, there are special ones that are just too devasting to lose...but I am still trying...Debbie)
ANDY ROONEY'S VIEW OF WOMEN OVER 40
Andy Rooney says.... "As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
An over 40 woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If an over 40 woman doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it's usually something more interesting.
An over 40 woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants, and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a darn what you might think about her or what she's doing.
An over 40 woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful
relationships" and commitment." The last thing she wants in her life is another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover.
Over 40 women are dignified. They seldom have screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Over 40 women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
An over 40 woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. An over 40 woman couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an over 40 woman. They always know.
An over 40 woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women.
Over 40 women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise over 40 women for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart,
well-coifed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize.
Andy Rooney
IF I KNEW
If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well, I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.
Sullivan guarding the back door
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
THE BRICK
A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"
The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please , I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.. "Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.
Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"
God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.
God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
Moses & The Lord
"Excuse me, Sir."
"Is that you again, Moses?"
"I'm afraid it is, Sir."
"What is it this time, Moses; more computer problems?"
"How did you guess?"
"I don't have to guess, Moses. Remember ?"
"Oh, yes; I forgot."
"Tell me what you want, Moses."
"But you already know, Sir. Remember?"
"Moses!"
"Sorry, Sir."
"Well, go ahead, Moses; spit it out."
"Well, I have a question, Sir. You know those ten 'things' you sent me via e-mail?"
"You mean the Ten Commandments, Moses?"
"That's it. I was wondering if they are important."
"What do you mean 'if they are important,' Moses? Of course, they are important.
Otherwise, I would not have sent them to you."
"Well, sorry, Sir, but I lost them. I could say the dog ate them; but, of course, you would see right through that."
"What do you mean you 'lost them'? Are you trying to tell me you didn't save them, Moses?"
"No, Sir; I forgot."
"You should always save, Moses."
"Yes, I know. You told me that before. I was going to save them, but I forgot. I did forward them to some people before I lost them though."
"And did you hear back from any of them?"
"You already know I did. There was the one guy who said he never uses 'shalt not.' May he change the words a little bit?"
"Yes, Moses, as long as he does not change the meaning."
"And what about the guy who thought your stance was a little harsh, and recommended calling them the 'Ten Suggestions,' or letting people pick one or two to try for a while?"
"Moses, I will act as if I did not hear that."
"I think that means 'no.' Well, what about the guy who said I was scamming him?"
"I think the term is 'spamming,' Moses."
"Oh, yes. I E-mailed him back and told him I don't even eat that stuff, and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through a computer."
"And what did he say?"
"You know what he said. He used Your name in vain. You don't think he might have sent me one of those -- err -- plagues, and that's the reason I lost those ten 'things', do you?"
"They are not plagues; they are called 'viruses,' Moses."
"Whatever! This computer stuff is just too much for me. Can we go back to those stone tablets? It was hard on my back taking them out and reading them each day, but at least I never lost them."
"We will do it the new way, Moses; using computers!!"
"I was afraid you would say that, Sir."
"Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?"
"You told me to hold up this rat and point it toward the computer."
"It's a mouse, Moses, not a rat. Mouse! Mouse!
And did you do that?"
"No, I decided to try calling technical support first. After all, who knows more about this stuff than you? And I really like your hours. By the way, Sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?"
"No, Moses."
"One other thing. Why did you not name them 'frogs' instead of 'mice,' because did you not tell me the thing they sit on is a pad?"
"I did not name them, Moses. Man did, and you can call yours a frog if you want to."
"Oh, that explains it. I bet some woman told Adam to call it a mouse. After all, was it not a woman who named one of the computers 'Apple?'"
"Say good night, Moses."
"Wait a minute, Sir. I am pointing the mouse, and it seems to be working. Yes, a couple of the ten 'things' have come back."
"Which ones are they, Moses?"
"Let me see.
'Thou shalt not steal from any grave an image' and
'Thou shalt not uncover Thy neighbor's wife.'"
"Turn the computer off, Moses.
I'm sending you another set of stone tablets."
A LITTLE COUNTRY WISDOM
READ & HEED
1. Never name a pig you plan to eat.
2. Country fences oughta' be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.
3. Life ain't about how fast you run, or how high
you climb. It's about how good you bounce.
4. Keep skunks and gossipers at a distance.
5. Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
6. A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
7. Trouble with a milk cow is... she won't stay milked.
8. Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.
9. Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
10. Meanness don't happen overnight.
11. To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.
12. Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal.
It just ain't helpful.
13. Teachers, Moms, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.
14. Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
15. Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.
16. Two can live as cheap as one...if one don't eat.
17. Don't corner something meaner than you.
18. You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar... if you're in to catchin' flies.
19. It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
20. Don't go drinkin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.
21. You can't unsay a cruel remark.
22. Every path has some puddles.
23. Don't wrestle with pigs. You'll get all muddy, and the pigs'll love it.
24. The best sermons are lived, not preached.
25. Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.
26. The early bird gets the worm. But... the second
mouse gets the cheese!.
27. The Ten Commandments display was removed from
the Alabama Supreme Court building. There was a durn good reason for the move. You can't post:
Thou Shalt Not Steal,Thou Shalt Not Commit
Adultery,Thou Shall Not Lie, in a building full of Lawyers and Politicians. It just don't make sense.
G.R.I.T.S - Girls Raised in the South
Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or "Bless his heart."
As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a 6-lane highway."
I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling about her new transplanted northern friend who was upset because her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a southern accent. My friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN to move to the South a couple of years ago. Can you believe it?" said her friend, "A child of mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss."
Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the North, bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships, and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good bread down here. And the heathens, bless their hearts, don't like cornbread!
We've already lost too much. I was raised to say "swayya," not swear, but you hardly ever hear anyone say that anymore, I swayya you don't.
And I've caught myself thinking twice before saying something is "right much," "right close," or "right good" because non-natives think this is right funny indeed.
I have a friend from Bawston, bless her heart, who thinks it's hilarious when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the light. She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin'" to do something.
And, bless their hearts, they don't even know where "over yonder" is, or what "I reckon" means!
My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she can't help being ugly, but she could've stayed home."
Southern girls know bad manners when they see them:
1. Drinking straight out of a can.
2. Not sending thank you notes.
3. Velvet after February.
4. White shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day
Southern girls always say:
1. "Yes, ma'am."
2. "Yes, sir."
Southern girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:
1. "Y'all come back now, ya heaah."
2. "Well, bless your heart."
3. "Drop by when you can."
4. "How's your mama?"
5. "Love your hair."
Southern girls know their three R's:
1. Rich
2. Richer
3. Richest
Southern girls know everybody's first name:
1. Honey
2. Darlin'
3. Shugah
Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:
1. "Gone With the Wind"
2. "Fried Green Tomatoes"
3. "Driving Miss Daisy"
4. "Steel Magnolias"
Southern girls know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
1. Hotlanta or Adlanna (Atlanta as outsiders say)
2. Richmon
3. Challston
4. S'vannah
5. Birminham
6. Nawlins'
7. Oh! and that city in Alabama ? It's pronounced MUNTGUMRY!
Southern girls know the three deadly sins:
1. Bad hair
2. Bad manners
3. Bad blind dates
G.R.I.T.S. = Girls Raised in The South!
Now you run along, Shugah, and send this to someone else Raised In The South, i.e., Southern Belles, or ANY females aspiring to be GRITS. Even the northern ones, "Bless Their Hearts".
That reminds me. I have a rubber stamp that says "Just because your children were born in the South does not make them Southerners. After all, if a cat had kittens in the oven, that wouldn't make them biscuits."
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate
