Dog Humor

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" rowspan="2" width=210 BGCOLOR="#99CC99" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="1328dfc3.jpg"> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=82 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="1338dfe1esnpes.jpg"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#336600" FACE="Arial" ><B>Seagull Limited </B></FONT><B>     </B><B>|</B><B>     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Seagull Limited "><U><B>home</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id33.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Jack Russell Stories"><U>Jack Russell Stories</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id63.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dog Treats"><U>Dog Treats</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id28.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Paulien"><U>Paulien</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id48.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="History of the Jack Russell"><U>History of the Jack Russell</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id52.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Out of the Ring...into the Den"><U>Out of the Ring...into the Den</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id53.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Angulation "><U>Angulation </U></A>   |   <A HREF="id41.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Grooming Pens"><U>Grooming & Pens</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id43.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Veterinarians"><U>Veterinarians</U></A>   |   <B>Dog Humor</B>   |   <A HREF="id58.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Thoughts..."><U>Thoughts...</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id47.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Links "><U>Links </U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" height=398 colspan=2 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="1338dfc3.jpg"> <div> <I>Dog Humor</I></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="8912c150.jpg" border=0 width="300" height="277" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <B>Whoa, Doggie!!!</B></div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <I><B><IMG SRC="8924ee00.jpg" border=0 width="334" height="224" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></I></div> <div> <B>Listen-Up & Listen Good...</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <I><B><IMG SRC="89410900.png" border=0 width="272" height="400" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></I></div> <div> <B>"I want a hug..."</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <I><B><IMG SRC="895e0480.png" border=0 width="480" height="328" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></I></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <I><B><IMG SRC="8efe0680.jpg" border=0 width="480" height="360" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></I></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="88fe12c0.jpg" border=0 width="225" height="300" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <B>Blonde Pole Dancer.....</B></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="88d540a0.jpg" border=0 width="340" height="266" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> " I think someone stopped tooooo fast..."</div> <bR> <bR> <div> <I><B><IMG SRC="8f2e02a0.jpg" border=0 width="480" height="298" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></I></div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="6b82c710.jpg" border=0 width="300" height="369" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> 'prepared for ANYTHING....'</div> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="52c5e020.jpg" border=0 width="350" height="258" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="6aa2c2f0.jpg" border=0 width="300" height="303" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="6ac2ce10.jpg" border=0 width="300" height="225" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="6aeec2c0.jpg" border=0 width="236" height="300" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="6b02ce10.jpg" border=0 width="300" height="225" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="6b22cf50.jpg" border=0 width="300" height="245" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="6b4e12c0.jpg" border=0 width="225" height="300" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="6b62c070.jpg" border=0 width="300" height="263" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="6bf2cc80.jpg" border=0 width="300" height="200" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="6c12ce10.jpg" border=0 width="300" height="225" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="68c08860.jpg" border=0 width="520" height="390" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="68978750.jpg" border=0 width="376" height="373" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <B>Trick or Treat??</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Dog Property Laws </B></div> <bR> <div> 1. If I like it, it's <B>Mine. </B></div> <div> 2. If it's in My mouth, it's <B>Mine. </B></div> <div> 3. If I can take it from You, it's <B>Mine. </B></div> <div> 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's <B>Mine.</B> </div> <div> 5. If it's <B>Mine,</B> it must never appear to be Yours, in any way. </div> <div> 6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are <B>Mine. </B></div> <div> 7. If it just looks like Mine, it's <B>Mine.</B> </div> <div> 8. If I saw it First, it's <B>Mine.</B> </div> <div> 9. If You are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes <B>Mine.</B> </div> <div> 10. If it's broken, it's <B>Yours.</B> </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="619fab30.png" border=0 width="250" height="179" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="61afabc0.png" border=0 width="250" height="188" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="61bfabc0.png" border=0 width="250" height="188" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="621fabb0.png" border=0 width="250" height="187" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="622fab30.png" border=0 width="250" height="179" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="623fabc0.png" border=0 width="250" height="188" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="624faa50.png" border=0 width="250" height="165" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="625faa60.png" border=0 width="250" height="166" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>"Dogs are not our whole lives, but they make our lives whole."</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#336600" FACE="Arial" ><B> Roger Carras</B></FONT></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="5f73a5e0.jpg" border=0 width="314" height="350" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <B>Orion Rowdy</B></div> <div> <B>Happy Dog</B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B><IMG SRC="53ca4dc0.jpg" border=0 width="420" height="220" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="4dd2ceb0.jpg" border=0 width="300" height="235" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div>   ' Modest Sunbathers'</div> <bR> <div> <B><IMG SRC="6905e030.jpg" border=0 width="350" height="259" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <div> "How did CAT here get on my pants?"</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="6945ee90.jpg" border=0 width="350" height="233" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <div> "<B>cats believe in FRESH breath"</B></div> <bR> <div> <B><IMG SRC="696fae30.jpg" border=0 width="250" height="227" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <div> <B>"I ALWAYS win"</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="69ad15e0.jpg" border=0 width="209" height="350" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <div> <B>"somedays it is difficult to find </B></div> <div> <B>a good place to sleep....."</B></div> <bR> <div> <I>Although the above photo and the 'cleaning method' below did not arrive from the same resource...they seemed suited for each other...remember a 'dog' came up with this...  </I></div> <div> <I>more later,</I></div> <div> <I>D</I></div> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="626" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="VOID" RULES="NONE" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=CENTER HEIGHT= 30 ><NOBR><div> How To Clean Your Toilet - The Fun Way<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#336600" FACE="arial" > </FONT></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <div> 1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.</div> <bR> <div> 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.</div> <bR> <div> 3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.</div> <bR> <div> 4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.</div> <bR> <div> 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".</div> <bR> <div> 6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.</div> <bR> <div> 7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.</div> <bR> <div> 8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.</div> <bR> <div> 9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Sincerely,</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The Dog</B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>How to live Life!</B></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="5a7e0680.png" border=0 width="480" height="360" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="5a8e0680.png" border=0 width="480" height="360" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="5a9e0680.png" border=0 width="480" height="360" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="5aae0680.png" border=0 width="480" height="360" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="5abe0680.png" border=0 width="480" height="360" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="5ace0680.png" border=0 width="480" height="360" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="5ade0680.png" border=0 width="480" height="360" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="5aee0680.png" border=0 width="480" height="360" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="5b0e0680.png" border=0 width="480" height="360" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="5afe0680.png" border=0 width="480" height="360" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="5b1e0680.png" border=0 width="480" height="360" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B><U>A Letter to the pound </U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Dear Dog- </B></div> <bR> <div> I am so sorry about you being sent to the dog pound </div> <div> for the broken lamp which you did not break; </div> <div> the fish you did not spill; and the carpet that you </div> <div> did not wet; or the wall that you did not dirty with red paint... </div> <div> Things here at the house are calmer now, and </div> <div> just to show you that I have no hard feelings </div> <div> towards you, I am sending you a picture, so you will </div> <div> always remember me. </div> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="5df2cd20.png" border=0 width="300" height="210" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> ( bad kitty, b a d kitty...)</div> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Jack Russell Terriers"><U>Jack Russell Terriers</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id23.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="SK Canine Academy"><U>SK Canine Academy</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Puppies Available"><U>Puppies Available</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id5.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="More JRT Photos "><U>More JRT Photos </U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id6.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Stud Dogs"><U>Stud Dogs</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id36.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Puppies New Home"><U>Puppies New Home</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id25.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Quarter Horses"><U>Quarter Horses</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id34.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Seagull Experiences"><U>Seagull Experiences</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id35.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Rainbow Bridge....where have they gone?"><U>Rainbow Bridge....where have they gone?</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id27.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Puppy Rules"><U>Puppy Rules</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id50.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sales Contract"><U>Sales Contract</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id56.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Happy Holidays"><U>Happy Holidays</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Seagull Limited "><U>Seagull Limited </U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Who is Seagull, Ltd.?"><U>Who is Seagull, Ltd.?</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id58.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Thoughts..."><U>Thoughts...</U></A></div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>